Neicey+-Student+Writer+Profile

Dear Patrice: Your reflections on Neicey's writing are genre-based and constructive. You recognize what she was trying to do, rather than becoming critical of what she did not accomplish. In some genres repetition is a good thing, and it works in a speech. This was a great writing task for a social studies class. You recognize the struggle of assuming an unfamiliar identity in writing. I often wonder if that is good exercise for writing, since we seldom do that in the public arena. This is clearly somthing Neicey is working on. Good, even-handed assessment. Congratulations on your well-deserved scholarship! 20/20 5/5 **Student Writer Profile-Neicey** Neicey is a 16 year old sophomore student at a public high-school in mid-Michigan. She maintains a B minus average overall and is active in sports and other after school activities. Neicey describes herself as an average reader and an average writer.

Neicey submitted two writing samples written for school related purposes. One writing sample was not available electronically. Through the personal interview with this student it is clear that writing for academic purposes and writing for personal purposes are seen very differently. As a writer, within the context of school, Neicey sees the purpose of writing to be solely earning a good grade. The aspects of the writing process are also seen in light of getting a passing grade on an assignment. Even though the end result of a good grade is a primary goal, she is encouraged to write with more motivation when choices about how to write an assignment are given. Neicey stated “it made me feel like I could show my style of writing”, when being asked about how having choices impacts her desire to write. Based on Neicey's description of her classes, she is encouraged to write very little in her Language Arts classes, and a lot of writing is required for her History class. When asked about the lack of written examples that were available to submit, she explained that her instructors do not give any writing back until the end of the semester. Neicey is a writer who is receiving little to no feedback about her writing skills from any of her classes. Her ideas about peer input on her writing are tied in with getting a good grade. She feels comfortable with peer response from friends because they will not judge her based on her writing skills. Her major concern with writing is gaining more skills, especially in the areas of language, grammar, and formatting. Neicey does read for a variety of reasons. She reads most frequently things that are related to assignments for school. In her leisure she enjoys reading facts, news articles, and current issues about African-Americans. Additionally, she enjoys comics and graphic novels occasionally. She believes that reading influences her writing in the areas of vocabulary, structure, and tone. She adamantly disagrees with required reading because she believes that reading should be something that interests the student. There are several things to highlight about Neicey’s writing, based on the combination of the writing sample available and the interview comments given by the student. //Strengths// In Neicey’s essay on Native Americans, entitled Hope, there is a strong and active voice. The essay seems to be meant to inspire Native Americans to continue fighting for justice for their own people in spite of a history littered with injustices against them. She uses the phrase “Hope! Change! Success!” repeatedly which gives the piece the feeling of a political rallying speech that could be used to encourage a group who is feeling on the edge of defeat. Another strength of her piece is that it references actual historical political and social justice “wins” for Native American’s in the past. This referencing serves factual support to the inspiring tone of the piece. It also demonstrates credibility because the as the writer she is informed on historical issues concerning Native Americans. One area for opportunity in the piece is mechanics. There are grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes that make the piece difficult to flow through when reading. The following sentence is an example: //“So I say hope! is the key word that’s all that it takes?”.// I believe that the student could benefit from peer editing, instructor feedback, and mini-lessons on how to use punctuation to enhance a piece of writing. Another opportunity for improvement is the perspective the student is writing from. At times the student uses the first person which positions her as an outsider to the Native community. At other times the student writes in the second or third person. Switching back and forth causes some confusion. Does she want to be seen as “one of the Native’s” and strongly identify with the struggle to gain rights. Does she want to be seen as an empathetic outsider willing to serve a community she is not a part of to help them gain access to rights? Does she want to be seen as an objective observer who is simply reporting on what she has learned about a particular groups’ experience? Answering these questions would help the piece become more focused.
 * __Comments on Writing__**
 * __Comments on Reading__**
 * __Assessment and Recommendations__**

Written for school or not? Yes history assignment to write about how Native Americans were mistreated. Where did you get the idea? The teacher used an example to show us how to write it.
 * __Interview Notes__**

Were there choices about what to write and did it affect their motivation? We had different options and it made me feel like I could show my style of writing.

Did they have a model for it? Yes

What did they struggle with? -Spelling, grammar and how to format it.

How do you feel about the results? I felt it could have been better if I had more writing skills.

How much do you revise? Maybe two times before turning something in When do you revise? After I complete it the first time I go back and revise it. How important is revision?-- Very important especially if you have silly mistakes that can lower your grade.

How do you prepare to write? I free write. I do a little research and then I just write whatever comes to my mind. I write like I speak and then I go back and look at it. How often do you write outside of school? I write in a journal twice a week.

What do you read outside of school? Comic book, news on-line, Facebook status, Google things and read about it like how does the brain work (I learned about neuroscience) How often? When I am bored. 1x per day for educational things and every day for comic books and Facebook status
 * READING NOTES**

What are you favorite readings? Articles about black people, educational facts, comic books

Has reading affected your writing? Newer words, Helped me with structuring my writing and building suspense.

How do you feel about required reading? I HATE IT, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO READ. I like books that interest me.

Keep a journal? A blog? Chat room? Yes I journal about my feelings.

How often do you share your writing? When I have an assignment I share it with someone who has to edit for me (shared with sister/mom/teacher) How do you feel about required writing? It depends on if I like the subject we are writing about.

How do you feel about peer response to your writing? I don’t really care because they are my friends and they won’t judge me. I want them to be honest to give me good advice on what to do to change it. But at the end of the day I don’t care as long as I get a good grade.

Why are you taking creative writing? N/A

Hope Hope!! Now for some years Native Americans have lived in this cruel world with inequality and wrong doing. We have dealt with too much for too long. Native Americans have been the poorest of Americans and have suffered from the highest unemployment rate. And I stand here today to say no more. We will not be poor like the bums on the street. But will be richer than all those who judge Native Americans. Native Americans have violent stages involving Sioux groups but you all came together and found better ways Native Americans will have increased jobs. Native Americans have many health issues and have been called alcoholics. I say to heck with those people. Native Americans will have better health care as you all work together. You all need to thank those 67 Native American groups who met in Chicago and drafted the Declaration of Indian Purpose. This urged the determination of Native Americans to choose their own life. So let Native Americans stand up and earn those termination rights so you all can get what you want for your lives today. One great man by the name on Lyndon Johnson helped Native Americans in the great society program which pushed you all to your greatest potentials and needs. Native Americans have developed AIM (AMERICAN INDAIN MOVEMENT), brave young people standing up for their rights and fighting against brutality. Native Americans faced all these problems but had many more successes, like securing the reforms from both Congress and the federal court, Indian Education Act, Indian Self-Determination Act, and many more. So don’t get your hopes down. Native Americans also regained rights to land by court action. Now we know when you put your mind to it anything is possible. So I say hope! is the key word that’s all that it takes? Hope! Change! Success! You will gain back your rights Hope! Change! Success! You will not be discriminated against. Hope! Change! Success! You will gain your land back without having to ask. Hope! Change! Success! We will have not only better education for your children but for you selves. Hope! Change! Success! We will be safe and not have to march for our freedom. Hope! Change! Success! We will all rise up and take action on our parts to our society. To make it you all one accord.
 * __Writing Sample/s__**