How+to+Survive

Brad Valentine ENG 408 Tues/Thurs 11:00 Expository draft

**__How to Survive Saint Patrick’s Day at a Bar__** Saint Patrick’s Day is one of the busiest bar days of the year. Many people like to celebrate Irish culture by going to a bar all day long and drinking massive amounts of beer and whiskey. Through my many years of celebrating this intoxicated holiday I can offer a few tips on how to make sure your celebration is a successful and fun holiday. Saint Patrick’s Day is most fun when you have as many friends as possible celebrating with you. With this in mind, it is best to choose a bar that is centrally located to the majority of the people in your group. Most of your friends will be more willing to join if you chose a bar that most people are familiar with and offers fun for everyone. If you (as the organizer of this day) can let people know a week in advance what bar you will be going to, you will have the best turn out. Also it is wise to choose a bar that is relatively cheap, since most bars offer Saint Patrick Day specials this is usually not a difficult task to accomplish. It is also very important to plan a D.D. or a cab in advance this will ensure you spend Saint Patrick’s Day at a bar and not a police station. It is vitally important to prepare your body for the copious amounts of alcohol that will be consumed on Saint Patrick’s Day. In order to do this I suggest that you don’t drink the night before. Use this day to accomplish any pressing matters you may need to do; it should always be assumed that you will not get much done the day following Saint Patrick’s Day due to the anticipated hang over. Once you complete whatever pressing matters you have to do i.e. laundry, homework, etc. stay at home and have a relaxing night. Get a good night’s sleep as it is often tradition to go to the bar during the afternoon (which is much earlier than traditional drinking hours for other events of the year.) On the big day, I suggest waking up a few hours before drinking; this gives your body and mind time to “wake up.” It is also extremely beneficial to eat a good hearty meal about an hour before the festivities begin, I suggest something with a lot of protein and plenty of bread (this acts as a sponge which soaks up the consumed beverages.) Another point on the preparation level is to maybe have a few drinks at home before heading to the bar (professional drinkers refer to this as “pre-gaming.”) This will save you some money once you get to the bar due to the fact that you won’t have to “play catch up” to the other drunks at the bar. Now that you are all planned ahead and prepared for the day’s debauchery, it is now time to enjoy yourself, but there are still rules that you must adhere to in order to ensure you last for the long haul and not pass out too early. It is important to stick to one or two types of drinks. It is easy to get caught up in the party mode and let your pallet give into the desire of different tastes. I highly advice not mixing alcohol, I would say stick to one or two of your trusty drinks (for me beer and whiskey.) Mixing often leads to upset stomachs, and upset stomachs of leads to bathroom wreckage. Stick to what you know and like! It is also very easy to drink too much, too quick; once in party mode, one can easily find himself slamming beers and immediately ordering another one in order to keep your buzz going. I advise against this. Drink slowly, enjoy the company you’re with, and don’t worry about getting drunk…trust me it will happen eventually. It is also extremely important to drink lots of water during the day. I suggest one glass of water for every beer you consume; this will help keep your hang over to a minimum. It is also important to take small snack breaks during your drinking marathon, this not only keeps you more sober for longer but also aids in the task of keeping the hangover at bay. O.k., so you have been successful thus far. You’re not sick, you had a great time and you lasted all day and night, however, you are not done yet. You must prepare for the inevitable hangover. It is almost impossible to wake up without a hangover but if you follow these simple rules your hangover will be minimum. Your bed will be tempting as soon as you walk in your front door but you must resist that temptation just a while longer and take a trip to the fridge. It is very important that you get one last food item in your belly before you pass out. I strongly suggest staying away from anything that involves the use of an oven or stove (assuming your state of mind at this point using either of those appliances can lead to disastrous results.) If you must use a heat source the microwave is your best bet, also a deli meat sandwich will work wonders. Take a large bottle of water to bed as well, I suggest drinking half of it before falling asleep and leaving the other half for your parched awakening the following afternoon. Lay on the couch. That’s it. By following these simple hints and tips you can ensure you have a safe and fun Saint Patrick’s Day. Slainte! **__Reflection__** This piece was pretty easy for me to write. I did develop my thoughts and ideas from the first draft (the hand written class exercise) and I developed a specific tone and voice which I think works very well for the piece. It is sarcastic in a sense that it has a scholar sense of style, language and tone, however the topic is not scholarly at all. I think this makes it some what funny to read which also makes it enjoyable while at the same time helpful and informative. When I first sat down to start working on this piece of writing I really wasn’t that into it. I thought it sounded kind of like a stupid idea and started looking through other writing prompts and exercises. But after taking some time and realizing that if I turned the piece into somewhat of a comedic piece it could be enjoyable to read as well as write. I did have fun writing the piece and after having three peer editors laugh out loud while reading it I realized my piece was a success…with that being said I am pretty satisfied with the piece of writing. What kind of response and feed back I would like to receive would be if the tone is a bit too forced? At some points it seems that the language is unnatural and that it forces the tone a little bit. Also My peer editors suggested I add some more sarcastic and snyde remarks…this is not the tone I was really going for but maybe, if the readers crave it, it might work, Id like to know your thoughts on that. Also I’d like to know if the piece achieves its purpose of being informative even though it’s humorous as well? Does the humor take away from the credibility of the information?
 * __Plan Ahead__**
 * __Preparation__**
 * __Enjoy the celebration__**
 * __Bed time prep.__**
 * __March 18th__**